The Little Things Drive Me Crazy!

I reached into the candy dish only to grab a handful of wrappers. My husband ate some candy, and threw the wrappers back into the bowl. I told him countless times that the candy dish is not a garbage can - you don't throw the wrappers back into the dish. Does this register in his brain? NO! He seems to think it is perfectly acceptable to do this. I, on the other hand, find this to be one of the little things that drive me crazy! Suddenly, the past fourteen years flashed before my eyes. My mind was flooded with the things he does that drive me crazy.

I decided to make a list. The problem is, just when I think I'm finished, I think of something else. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband dearly, but there are times when I'm convinced he is purposely trying to drive me crazy. It is almost like a case of marital Chinese Water Torture. Little by little, one drop at a time, I'm being driven insane!

Anyway, as of this moment in time, this is what I came up with:

1. Doesn't replace the bag in the garbage can after taking out the trash. I tell him this is all one job. You empty the garbage; you put a new bag in the can. He tells me his job is to take out the trash - only! It is up to someone else (me) to replace the bag! Replacing the bag is a separate job.

2. Doesn't close his dresser drawers all the way. Now how hard is this one? You take something out, you push the drawer CLOSED. Don't leave clothes poking out of the top of the drawer. No one cares to see what brand of underwear or socks you wear!

3. Empties the ice cube trays, but doesn't refill them. Again, how hard is this?

4. Uses the last of the toilet paper, but doesn't put a new roll on the holder. I made this one as simple as possible by getting one of those three roll cannisters that stands by the toilet. Still, I am the only one to put a new roll on the holder. This carries over to paper towels too.

5. Doesn't return the salt and pepper shakers to the table, or stove. He stands at the counter and uses them, but never returns them to their original spot. Of course, I'm the first one who goes to reach for them only to find they aren't where they should be.

6. Never, I mean NEVER, hangs up the bath mat after taking a shower. I walk into the bathroom and my socks get soaked from the wet bath mat.

7. Takes half a banana, and leaves the other half on the counter with the peel pulled up to make it look like a full banana. Unsuspecting, I come along and pick up, what I think, is a full banana. The peel falls away revealing a now brown, slimy banana half. By the way, more times than not, it is the last banana in the house.

8. I return from the grocery store and he says, "You know what you forgot?", or "You know what else you should've bought?" Before I head to the store I always check with him to see if there is anything he needs or wants. He never has anything to add to the list. If he thought of something after I left, I'm a phone call away since I carry my cell phone with me! How come he doesn't think of these things when I'm AT the store?

9. Pronounces words incorrectly - on purpose - and thinks it's funny. He pronounces "innuendo" like "in-da-window". Okay - I admit this is funny, but only the first hundred times he said it!

And, finally, the one that really, I mean REALLY, drives me crazy:

10. Takes a bite out of the last slice of pizza, then wraps it neatly, and puts it in the refrigerator! The next day, I go to the refrigerator thinking there is a slice of pizza I can have for lunch. Imagine my surprise, when I unwrap it and find a huge bite taken out of it! I can't tell you the number of times I fell for this one!

I could go on and on. I didn't mention the stupid phrases he makes up and tries to pass off as rhymes - or funny. For example, as I type these words, he says, "I need the keys, Donna Reed." It doesn't rhyme! Or when he uses the phrase, "I rectum" instead of "I reckon." Or how about using his name in songs like the theme from the t.v. show "Cheers". "Making his way through the world today, takes everythng {b}Mic's{/b} got. Taking a break from all Mic's worries, sure would help a lot. Wouldn't Mic like to get away . . ."

I better end this now, or I will never be finished. Besides, I hear him singing the theme song to "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" while reaching into the candy dish! "Love is all around why don't Mic take it? Mic's gon-na make it after
all. . ." Just reading through this makes me run for my medication! To find out more GO HERE code -->